We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. T.S. Eliot, from “Little Gidding”
Jesus says both “Go” and “Come” to his disciples, which can be confusing! We need discernment to figure out how to live this out because coming and going create both blessings and challenges. Jesus’ GO often means being uprooted, experiencing loss and feeling lonely, disoriented and uncertain. When Frank and I headed off to Arizona in January, I didn’t know the GO would mean becoming Arizona residents, being uprooted from our normal lives, and staying in Arizona for more than six months each year. I miss terribly fellowship and worship with you (especially the Women’s Fellowship group) and my friends and family. I can taste the original disciples’ fear and wonder as Jesus sends them out, telling them to pack very lightly for the journey (Mark 6:9-10). So I’ve had to cling to Jesus’ COME, which offers the Spirit’s empowering, blessing, and guidance. Blessings abound. I don’t miss the winters! Frank is blessed with a more restful lifestyle after 35 years of the NYC commute. He has joined Pinnacle Presbyterian Church and I‘ve transferred to the Presbytery of the Grand Canyon. I ‘m no longer sure of my call but am willing to wait on the Lord.
Matthew records words from the resurrected Jesus to his disciples: “GO therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). There are infinite ways to “make disciples,” and each of us must discern God’s call on our individual lives. Then we must band together and baptize those disciples, which is the work of the body of Christ, and send them out. Those amazed and afraid disciples worshiped and doubted, but most of them went out anyway, ill-equipped and well-resourced, uncertain and confident. The one who says, “Go,” also says,“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Last Sunday, on Pentecost, I approached Christ’s table with many of you, worshiping and doubting, uncertain and confident, receiving a mystery and peace I cannot fully understand, which equips me to keep GOing! How can I serve God in my former roles as pastor and chaplain if I’m in Arizona in the winter, New Jersey in the fall and spring, and Massachusetts in the summer? I can’t discern the answers but am confident God will equip and guide me in as I go out with an exploring attitude. God will give me discernment as I commit to embody the love of Jesus Christ wherever I go and to whomever I come. It feels very ancient and very right, for now.
God’s GO and the COME require an alertness to the Spirit, an openness to exploration, a willingness to grow, and an obedience to be sent out and invited back in, over and over. Although Frank and I will not be regularly in your midst, we continue to support your call as a congregation. I am confident that you will discern the way, because I have experienced your abundant and Grace-filled fellowship and because I trust God to use your gifts to draw and to serve the weary, hungry, fearful seekers in your neighborhood. To where and to whom is God inviting the Grace congregation? As God invites you to GO, He will also invite you to COME! He is inviting you to transformation and growth. May God bless the work of your collective hands and hearts. Feel free to call and catch up anytime: 973-479-5756.
Margo Walter, June 2022